The most grammatically offensive sports team names

They’ve finally got a name for their NBA franchise in OKC—the horribly generic and grammatically suspect Oklahoma City Thunder. While myriad online lists chronicle the funniest, worst and most unique sports team names, let's explore the grammarian's least favorite athletic monikers:

Any singular team name—in addition to sounding like they play in a sub-par league like the WNBA, NBDL, AFL or MLS, the singular team name confuses the subject-verb agreement when referring to sports clubs. It makes grammatical sense (but not logical sense) to say “the Atlanta Hawks are the best team in the NBA,” but confusion abounds when the Utah Jazz have a shot at the Western Conference Championship.

Note: It looks like the 2008 AP Stylebook now defines this rule for singular team and band names. I’m still working on 2003. Sorry.

Columbus Blue Jackets—a bluejacket is another name for an enlisted man or woman in the U.S. or British Navy, but it's one word. It looks like a stab at the Red/White Sox clothing formula, but people in Columbus definitely don’t have enough of the circular reasoning of Red Sox fans to justify such a silly name.

San Francisco 49ers/Philadelphia 76ers— come on folks, this is Comp 100. Years abbreviated with the last two numbers start with commas. ‘49ers and ‘76ers, please.

Presbyterian College Blue Hose— this South Carolina school should be fined by whatever conference they’re in for such an ambiguous name. Is it singular, as in “I used a blue hose to fill my water balloons,” or plural, like “I have a run in my blue hose.”

 Apparently the latter—according to the school’s athletic site—which was changed from the Presbyterian Blue Stockings in the 1950s, presumably because it sounded too masculine.

 

Harvard Crimson—while several other universities use similar color name formulas, the folks at Harvard should know better. At least Alabama is a Crimson something. And that’s in Alabama.

 

Montreal Canadiens—I’m aware that everyone in Montreal thinks French is a superior language, but your hockey team plays in an American league. It’s not like they call them Los Cargadores de San Diego or El Calor de Miami, even though more people in both cities would understand. Just help us out and spell it C-A-N-A-D-I-A-N-S. Thanks.

 

The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim—wait, what? Where is their stadium? Anaheim? Then why aren’t they the Anaheim Angels? Because the new owner wanted more fans from LA to buy tickets? Then why don’t they just call them the Los Angeles Angels? Or a region or state like the Florida Marlins, Carolina Panthers, Golden State Warriors, New England Patriots, Minnesota Vikings, Tennessee Titans, Arizona Cardinals, Indiana Pacers, Minnesota Timberwolves, New Jersey Nets, Utah Jazz, Arizona Diamondbacks, Colorado Rockies, Minnesota Twins, Texas Rangers, Carolina Hurricanes, New Jersey Devils, Florida Panthers or the Colorado Avalanche? Because it’s dangerous, outside-the-box thinking, you say? Oh.

 

The Toronto Maple Leafs—the plural of leaf is leaves. Damn Canadiens.